Today would’ve been my mother’s 69th birthday. It’s been just over 5 years since she passed away from a heart attack among some of her closest friends at a local restaurant in my hometown. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. Special days, like today, are even tougher. My mom’s birthday is very close to Mother’s Day. A double whammy! My birthday is tomorrow, the day after my mom’s birthday. A triple whammy! I miss celebrating our birthday’s together.
In full disclosure, I’ll admit that I was not always glad our birthdays were a day apart. What child doesn’t get excited about his birthday days before the actual day? Add a cool birthday party in there, and the celebration can go on for weeks! BUT, I was reminded (often) that my mom’s birthday was first and I needed to remember to celebrate her birthday without constantly talking about MY birthday. Point taken, but as a child it was hard nonetheless. My mom always made my birthday special, often using her own birthday preparing for my birthday. So today, I will not forget celebrate her birthday even though she is worshiping at the feet of Jesus today. Happy birthday, mama!
To celebrate her today, I wanted to write a post about my journey these last few years. As I thought about it, I remembered that three years ago I wrote a “note” about Mother’s Day and the sadness I felt the first few years without my mom to “celebrate.” The Lord spoke to me clearly that He has provided surrogate mothers to fill the void in my life. I knew I needed to share this note again because there are many of us without earthly mothers that have special mother-figures God has used to encourage and love. I truly believe in each generation pouring wisdom and influence into another—a symbiotic relationship, if you will. These women have certainly encouraged and invested in me and I hope I have done likewise.
Here’s the note from May 2015:
I’ve been thinking a lot about Mother’s Day coming up next weekend. Many of you know I lost my Mom tragically two years ago. The anniversary of her death was just a few weeks ago and it was hard; it always is. While next weekend we will celebrate Mother’s Day, it also would have been her birthday next Saturday. To say I miss her is just inadequate.
You know, she was probably the biggest influence on my decision to enter vocational ministry. She would faithfully sit and listen to me practice piano scales, etudes, sonatas or some vocal solo because I preferred having an audience 😆. I’ll never forgot the times we’d be riding in the car and we’d be singing and she’d look over at me and say, “Will, I hope you know your talents are a gift from God. I pray you always use them for His glory.” My mom was my biggest fan and encourager.
In the midst of several pity parties over lost time with her, I have felt the Holy Spirit remind me that He has put strategic “mothers” in my life; a few just in the last few years. I think of three immediately:
First, if you are a part of our fellowship at Ivy Creek Baptist, you know Wylene. Wylene is our office admin. and a mother to all of her pastors (other sons as she calls us). She, too, has known the loss of a loved one fairly recently. She has the biggest heart and she loves just doing big and little things beyond her job description to demonstrate that love. Even though I haven’t know her long, you wouldn’t know it. Thank you, Wylene for loving me and taking care of me, even when I’m stubborn!
Second, Susan Rihner came into my life the summer after my mom died. I immediately liked her. She is fun, loyal, and has the most gregarious laugh, much like my mom did. She never hesitates to tell me how she feels, but tempers it with love. Sometimes I have to catch my breath when I’m with her, because she’ll say or do something exactly like mom. Susan, thank you for reminding me how full of life my mom was and how she told me what she thought, even when I didn’t want to hear it.
Third, how could I forget my precious mother in law, Margaret? I hit the mother load with her. In the twenty years I’ve know her, she has loved me like one of her own from day one. She, too, has had her share of heartache recently, but she remains a rock–unwavering in her faith and nurturing ways. Thank you, Margaret, for loving me as your own all these years.
Doubtless, some of you all are without biological mothers on this earth. It stinks; I get that. However, let the Spirit speak to you and reveal those precious ladies in your life that God puts there to fill that void and thank them royally this coming Mother’s Day.
I am blessed to have many, many “moms.” I appreciate all they have done for me. I want to challenge those reading to consider those who have invested in your own life. Have you thanked them? Likewise, if you are in a place of leadership, what are YOU doing to pour into the next generation?